A Living Lie
by lalaland33
Summary: Bella is a reincarnation of Winnie Foster. Bella is being stalked by the ghost of the little girl, whom only she can see. She is also recruited into a game of teens who kills vampires. The lesson of secrets, choices, and love for her friend Jacob
1. Chapter 1

**Author's word: Disclamer. Also, the song is the lullaby from Charlotte's Web.**

"_He's gone… He's **gone**."_

I kept mumbling that, unable to let it register that He is not coming back to me. He doesn't need me. I'm not good enough. I never was.

I lay down here in the cold muddy ground, as the rain falls lightly, caressing my tear stricken cheeks. So cold. I hear voices. They're calling to me; saying my name.

Why?

What's the point?

I slowly turned onto my back. My vision was beginning to blur. So tired….

"_Sleep, oh sleep, my little one, the sun has said goodbye for now. The moon shines on your beautiful face. A cry to dawn is time for shame. Embrace the child amongst yourself. Sleep, oh sleep, my little one."_

A small voice, that belonged to someone no more than a child, sang out waking me up from my unconsciousness.

I tried to sit up but was too insensitive to move anymore. Why was it so cold?

I decided to ignore the singing. I drifted into sleep

I woke up wrapped up in a large, warm blanket on the living room couch in my house. I could hear Charlie mumble words to someone else.

I searched my mind for a memory of how I ended up here. Sam. Sam Uley brought me home. He found me. How scary. I shivered, even though I wasn't cold.

"The Cullen's are in Los Angles."

"What the hell were they thinking?"

"Carlisle must've have been offered better pay there. We _are_ only a small town. There's only so much we could offer."

"Again. He's breaking my little girl again."

I rustled in my blanket to let them know I was awake. Stop it. Stop talking about them like that. My chest ached so much, I feared I was going to crumble to dust.

"Bells, honey? Hey, how are you? Sorry, stupid question." Charlie had a pained look on his face.

"Dad, I'm wet."

"I know honey. Do you want me to get you a change of clothes?"

"No. I'm fine. I'll go."

But I knew I wasn't fine. I was numb, not by the cold though. Through the numbness, I felt that hole. A deep black hole in the center of my chest.

I climbed the stairs into my room, and slowly crawled under the comforter. Then, finally, _finally_, I cried.

_Sleep, oh sleep, my little one. _

**Author: ok, i know, this 1st chapter sucked. but trust me, the next few chapters will make it better.**


	2. Chapter 2

**FIVE MONTHS LATER….**

**JANUARY**

I waited so long. And for what? He didn't come back. I emailed Alice about everything that was and wasn't, but those precious words just sent back to me. I sat with Them, even though I knew they weren't there. I was quiet, and the only sound that came from me was when I screamed in the night, from an empty dream of nothingness. Because in these dreams, Sam Uley wouldn't save me.

Was everything really over? Am I going to live like this forever, if you even call this living? No. I can't.

I sat at the kitchen table, eating cereal, but mostly playing around with it. Food never tasted good anymore.

Charlie's fist came down on the table hard, startling me from my trance.

"Bella, I'm sending you home," he bellowed causing me to flinch.

"I am home." I mumbled. What is Charlie talking about?

"No, I mean to live with your Mother in Florida. I can't take this behavior anymore!" Charlie looked so weathered; I thought he had been sick for weeks.

I was a good girl. I got good grades, great actually. I never did anything to get myself into any real trouble. Why did he want to send me away?

"I didn't do anything." My whispers were barely audible and Charlie gave another pained look.

"Exactly. You never do anything! So, I think it's better if you just get a little vacation-"

"No! No, I'm actually going out tonight, with some of the girls, you know, girls night out, like shopping."

"Bella, you hate shopping."

"We're also watching a movie. A zombie movie."

I could see him hesitating, possibly thinking if he let me go into the city, I might get carelessly killed.

"Sure."

* * *

I saw Him. When I did, I thought this hole will heal, and we'll be together. He would make me a vampire and nothing could bring us apart.

But it wasn't him. I saw those bikers, and walked towards them carefully, His profile structuring. My heart began to thud, I was sure he could hear me. I walked faster into a sprint.

_Edward,_ the walls were coming apart,_ Edward, you're here._

Suddenly He vanished into a faint smoke. I tripped over my feet, and almost had my heart be ripped out of me. A cry caught in my throat, I looked around for him.

My eyes rested on a small girl with brunette hair that fell down her back. Her skin was so pale; my first thought was that she was dead, or better yet, a vampire. But she couldn't be; she wasn't beautiful enough. She looked about ten or eleven. What scared me most was that he eyes were locked onto mine as if they weren't the eyes of a child, but someone who's seen years before.

It surprised me at what she was wearing. She was wearing a long white…frock, with an enormous amount of frills and layers, it made the girl look bulky, like an overly dressed doll.

She walked toward me, as I heard Jessica's angry shouts behind me. She was threatening to leave. The little girl took three steps before a gust of wind blew and she vanished…just like Him.

I ended up going on a short ride with one of the bikers, and I saw Him again. I felt so much adrenaline, it felt great. Like I knew what it felt like taking drugs. So I left upset. But he left continuously. I would never be happy again.

I got out of Jessica's jeep, while she sulked and sped away.

In front of my house, the girl stood quietly. I slowly sauntered toward her as she gracefully skipped to me.

"Hey, how'd you get here so fast?" The little girl just stared at me with a look of searching wonder in her eye. "Where is your mommy and daddy? Are they here?" Still, she didn't make a sound.

I knew I couldn't possibly do anything, so I needed Charlie for this.

I went inside the house, where Charlie was watching a football game.

"Dad, there's a little girl outside. She won't tell me where her parents are. I think you better handle this." Charlie reluctantly got up from the lumpy couch and went outside to confront the child. When he came back in, I was confused that the girl wasn't with him.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"You didn't see her? Right there, on the front porch." I looked past him, but the grass was bare. The girl was gone. "She was… never mind. She must've run away."

"I better report her. Jesus, what are her parents thinking?"

I checked the porch again. There she was again. She was so faint, I was barely able to make her physique out. She was focused on something other than me -in the forest. I ignored the girl, and went to my room, hoping for sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I tried to be busy as possible, always keeping my hands working just so I don't think about Them. Working with Mike Newton sometimes helped, but I knew he was worried and sometimes creeped out.

I was working with Mike at the Newton's. It wasn't necessarily busy today. There were two hikers having an engrossed conversation about the forest. The thick man was trying to prove something to the tall lean man he was speaking to.

"I've seen grizzlies in Yellowstone, but none of them compare to this brute!"

"No chance. Bears just don't get that big. They were probably cubs, those grizzlies you saw."

Mike was trying to get me to go home. It was too slow to even have two people working there at the same time. "Bella, why don't you go home for today. As soon as these two leave, I'm shutting the place down for today."

"You sure?" I was worried. I had finished all my homework the night before and there was nothing else planned that I had to do. The memories were trying to break into my mind through the edges of the walls I built up in my head.

"Yeah, take a break." He went to help the two men, as they asked him if he'd seen any overly large bears in the woods.

I didn't want to go back home. I couldn't deal with the pain. They had subsided enough that I could go to sleep. But there were never any doubt that I would have nightmares.

No, not nightmares. Nightmare. I had the same dream every night. Though they weren't the kind of dreams that you get after watching a scary movie. It's one of those dreams where you have experienced something, and your mind alters the reality of what really happened.

_It's dark, and lonely. Not lonely enough. The air is so thin, I can't breathe. I'm walking – maybe I was running – towards something, searching, unable to find it, or even know what I was searching for. I get frantic. I can't find it. Nothing. There's nothing. I live in the dark, I live for the dark. I'm so afraid…._

Then the screaming begins. Charlie always saves me from enduring the entire thing by waking me up. But lately, he lets me scream. I think he is used to it.

I drove, not even paying attention to where I was going. I wished I could be numb again. I didn't want to feel anything again. Tears were forming at the brim of my eyes, and the hole in my chest was beginning to ache. I took one hand from the steering wheel to wrap around my chest, so I could hold it together.

His words were clear in my head: _It'll be like I never existed._

It replayed in my head so many times, just plain simple words, the hole in my chest ripped wider, and I no longer could breathe. I stopped the car, uncaring where I stopped. Who cared anymore?

I laid myself across the cold leather seats, trying to catch my breath. Maybe – please hopefully – years later, I can look back on those months as the best in my entire life. The pain might heal, even a little, and I can start of from where I left my insignificant life.

What a stupid promise he had to make to me. Never exist? How could someone forget an angel? That beautiful face and beautiful voice. He could steal everything that reminded me of him, but he couldn't change me. He had altered everything inside me. He left that hole in me. He had changed how I looked. My skin was too pale; my eyes were sallow and purplish from lack of real sleep. And if I were beautiful, from a distance, I could pass for a vampire. But I was a zombie.

He had promised that he would make me forget. And I had to promise that I wouldn't be reckless. Reckless? In Forks?

I laughed humorlessly. The distraction helped ignore the pain.

I felt sluggish, from the excessive exhaustion from fighting myself. I opened the truck door, and walked out into the light rain. I stared into the rain.

Finally I recognized where I was. I was parked across from the Markses. I was about to go back inside the truck and move, when something on their front porch caught my eye.

There she was, the girl with the 19th century frock, standing next to a FOR SALE sign. She was smiling at me, and then looked at the sign, followed by two dilapidated motorcycles. The girl nodded towards the broken metal.

Oh jeez. Was this a coincidence? I was thinking about it, and there, an angel equipped with a _white_ dress comes and shows me what I need. Coincidence?

These motorcycles just screamed stupid and reckless. Oh, I needed this. Even if it defied Charlie's word and the promise I made with him. _Break it. Who cares? What is promise to you now?_

I went to the front door and rang the bell. One of the Markses' boys answered. I couldn't remember the sandy haired boy's name.

"Bella? What are you-."

"How much for those bikes?" I cut to the chase.

"They're broken." Oh, like I didn't know that from just _looking _at them.

"How much?"

"Well, we were leaving it for the garbage, but you can take it, if you want."

"Great."

"You want me to help you? They're kind of heavy."

"Oh, well, I only need one."

"Might as well take both. Maybe you could scavenge some parts. They're both pretty beat up." He waved the popsicle in his hand around.

"That's okay. I'll take them to Dowlings."

He raised one eyebrow, something I was unable to ever accomplish even once. I knew the look he was giving me. Was I seriously taking a bike to Dowlings, a place that is famous for its over-pricing? I was pretty worried when Billy gave me his old truck, but it worked fine during the time I used it. Jacob did a good job fixing it up….

A slow smile crept on my face.

"Actually, I know a guy who builds cars."

"That's great."

"Oh, by the way, do you have a little sister, about ten years old? She's brunette." I asked, hoping for some answer about the kid.

Once I got both motorcycles onto the back of my trick, I drove home as fast as my 55mph truck could get me. I went inside, dialed the number, the keys still in my hands.

"Chief Swan please," I said excitedly, barely containing myself. "it's Bella."

"Hey Bella. Wait, a second. Let me get him."

"What's wrong Bella?" Charlie demanded as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Nothing, Charlie, no emergency. Actually, I wanted the directions to the Blacks' place. I haven't seen Jacob in months."

Even though nothing much was happening, I could already feel the adrenaline. Behind me, a soft ringing laughter echoed through the house. I turned around, Charlie asking me through the phone if I had a pen in a much happier voice than I heard in ages.

The girl, again, _again_, was here, smiling like the world was a good place. I watched her as I wrote down Charlie's instructions. I hung up, after.

"Okay, at least tell me your name would you?"

The girl hesitated. She nodded.

"I…am…Winnie…Foster…." It seemed like she had a hard time talking. No maybe it's because she couldn't talk to me for some reason, like there was some bad connection on a phone. She grinned, but it didn't reach her eyes.

She disappeared.


	4. poll

A/N: I know I haven't updated in a while, so go to my Fanfiction profile and look at the poll and let me know which story you think I should update first. (Twilight and one Fruits Basket story. Pairings: Jacob/Bella and Yuki/Tohru)


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